Be Kind To Yourself and Go Gently

taraljc:

inneskeeper:

faint-petrichor:

inneskeeper:

strawberrocket:

inneskeeper:

tiredshadowscale:

poggay:

poggay:

inneskeeper:

inneskeeper:

inneskeeper:

kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you’ll relax

Innes Keeper’s Formula For Fantastic Grilled Cheeses
(for nearly no extra spoons!)

Are you hungry? Do you have a hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches like, way more than a normal person maybe? Great news! I am about to give you the secret knowledge I stole, like Prometheus himself, from the Akashic Records—to bring back to Prudencia! And I’m even doing it without a ten hour long lecture about how the Akashic Records makes me think of idfk, 9/11, and how that relates to sandwiches.

I will, however, briefly say this: You gotta trust me when I say cooking grilled cheeses via this formula WILL grant you Bloodborne Insight. There is no fucking reason that making a grilled cheese this fucking delicious should be this fucking easy. I feel like I’m cheating God every time I do it because it takes (nearly) no extra spoons. And here’s where I show you why.

Scientifically Proven Perfect Extremely Easy Grilled Cheese

INGREDIENTS — SEASONINGS
-butter, i usually use 2 or 3 tablespoons per sandwich
-garlic cloves, I use 3 usually
-a source of heat, like red pepper flakes, or szechuan peppers
-a source of spice OR a source of sweetness, such as dijon mustard or honey. slather that motherfucker on a slice of your bread.
-a source of herbiness, such as oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, etc in any combination that goes well together or on its own. if someone tries to tell you that you need it fresh, they’re fucking lying, the 2$ crushed powdered sage is fucking great. experiment with other spices such as ground turmeric if you’re spicy

INGREDIENTS - THE METAPHORICAL MEAT OF THE SANDWICH
-two slices of bread per sandwich. this is actually a massive influence on your sandwich taste and texture as a whole. a basic white or wheat will still be fucking delicious because like I said, I stole this from the Akashic Records cookbook section and found it under “fucking perfect grilled cheeses forever”. However, if you CAN—getting bread like brioche, texas toast, brown bread, rye, or sourdough will make a sandwich already being elevated super easily to “pay 23 dollars at a fancy restaurant” level of elevation.

-one to three types of cheese per sandwich. you can get away with one type but really try for two or three if you can swing it.
this is also one of those massive influences over the sandwich—listen, i know, that’s obvious, but stay with me—what matters
isn’t the SPECIES of cheese, it’s the TYPE of cheese. getting the deli at your local Safeway or Walmart or whatever and asking for the cheese they gotta cut (or just in general the fancier, better-quality cheeses) is literally the only major requirement that I ask of you. If you are on SNAP/EBT programs, me too, and I promise you: Please do this. Please trust me when I say do not get the cheap Kraft-type cheese because it’s less money. I know it’s a bit extra but it’s only a bit to get like ¼ or 1/3lb and you have no idea how much I’m actually getting a little emotional about this, because the “rice with butter and beans or top ramen every single day” life is soulsucking and sickening and it is genuinely one of the greatest sources of suffering
to human beings I can imagine, I’m serious. Following this formula will genuinely change your life/mental health just a bit because you know that you have one meal that is super delicious, super filling, pretty damn cheap when it comes to how much you get, and super easy to make on days where the idea of doing more than just 15 minutes MAX is gonna make you wanna die.

super sorry for that paragraph btw i just really cannot overstate how this is a lifechanger especially when youre poor/low spoons/depressed. delicious food makes me not be as depressed. this is that.

METHOD

1. Take garlic cloves and crush them either with the meat of your palm or the flat of a knife or literally anything that would crush good. Take bread slices and put a source of spice or sweetness if you are using one. take a pan and put it on the stove on low-medium heat (aka a 2 out of 10).
2. Place the butter in the pan, as well as the garlic cloves, the source of heat, and the source of herbiness. Congratulations you have now literally done ALL the extra effort that you need to make a grilled cheese like this. That’s it. No extra dishes. No fussing with amounts or chopping or whatever. That’s it.
3. The butter will melt in the pan and soak up the delicious ingredients that you also put into the pan. Take each slice of bread and place it in the pan to butter it, OR just take one slice, place the cheese on it, and then put the other bread on. It’s really just a matter of extra effort.
4. When the bread is in the pan, turn it up to medium heat (5 out of 10) and just sorta let it sit for a bit. When you can see the cheese start to get visibly melty—or when you vibecheck it—flip it once and just do the same thing.
5. When you’ve grilled your cheese on both sides, take it out of the pan and put it on a plate (or just a paper towel to save on dish spoons. btw paper plates and plastic utensils are a fucking godsend if you hate dishes and/or can’t do them very easily/takes a lot of effort.)

That’s literally it. I really hope this helps.

outta my way gayboy im making this sandwich

oh. oh my god. holy fuck. what. how. why. this is delicious. i kinda burned my bread and my cheese didnt melt all the way but it’s still the best thing ive ever tasted?????

oh my god. this is so fucking good. the butter melting and absorbing the spices and herbs already smelled amazing, but then i threw the bread on and it started smelling EVEN BETTER. then i took a bite. holy FUCK this is better than sex. i legitimately believe that Innes Keeper stole this shit from Prometheus, there’s no other way to explain why this is so easy to make, yet so FUCKING good, other than cheating a god.

I didn’t steal it from Prometheus he’s my trophy husband!

ok me and my partner went back and made this. exact words upon eating were “we’ve cheated god” and “i feel like my world just got rocked” and then we were both energized to get back to drawing. proof:

please make innes keeper’s scientifically proven perfect extremely easy grilled cheese

I’M PUTTING THIS ON THE FRIDGE (WHERE I KEEP ALL MY CHEESE)

ok ok ok I tried this and 1) it fucks! 2) if you are a freak about garlic like me you can do an extra step: let the garlic hang out in the pan with the butter for like 20-30 mins and slowly infuse on a low heat until it’s basically confit (very creamy and spreadable). you don’t need to watch it rly. spread some of that garlic on your bread then proceed like usual. bliss

my werewolf boyfriend is basically a confit (very creamy and spreadable). an excellent addition and suggestion

three cloves of fresh garlic is kind of a lot of garlic so I’m a little bit wary but this sounds delicious and I’m going to make them for me and @lemonsharks when we have grocery money because om nom nom.

shower-thoughts-last-responder:

succumbdeeznuts:

gallows-alligator:

animefacialrecognitionsoftware01:

goldcrescent:

judgejudyofficial:

esoanem:

thebuttkingpost:

arirna:

queer-qunari:

xek-xek:

vonlipvig:

normal-horoscopes:

ghostaquarius:

lifeofcynch:

ofide:

antirpg:

I’m glad ppl on tiktok are doing ok

good lord

YEAH I GOT NOTHING

i don’t understand a single sentence in this and i’m ok with that

I haven’t stopped saying “it’s called quantum jumping, babe”

I would genuinely like to know who to blame for making these children so disconnected from the concept of imagination that they think the simpler explanation for what they’re doing is that they’re projecting their consciousness into one of infinite realities where fictional characters are real.

topical :/

WHY IS IT TOPICAL

Me shouting at my rash ointment

great post everyone

shifting is just the new Kinning

twentybrokenipodclassics:

toskarin:

toskarin:

I went to see Parasite completely blind besides being aware (unavoidably) that there was a hard tonal shift at some point. I saw the poster and stuff, but that was it

the entire time I was bracing myself for it to shift into some sort of alien parasite psychological horror movie, which seems really presumptuous, except I saw Bong Joon-ho’s The Host and that movie actually did have a giant monster in it, so I wasn’t putting it past him

god the class dynamics in this movie are so stressful already… keeping up this double life while still taking care of your family…… and if that’s not bad enough, they’re gonna have to deal with The Parasite when it shows up

anneemay:

Jazwares who produced Squishmallows and certain Pokémon plushies is donating their money to Canary Mission and other Zionist NGOs.

Please check this thread below to see which Pokémon plushies to avoid during this gift buying season

ALT

ahaura:

(Nov. 17)

manlethotline:

To anyone wondering if it’s worth it to tear down fascist posters or whatever. I spent a few months last year engaged in silent battle with another student at my school who was putting anti trans stickers up everywhere. I had it down to a system where every night I would walk the five block radius they went up in, and tear down all the ones I could reach, and use a stick to put duct tape over the others. Like, within hours of the stickers going up, I would have already purged the whole zone. I knew the basic schedule of whoever put them up based on when and where the stickers appeared. I probably could have found them in person if I’d wanted to. And I told all my classmates and friends what the stickers looked like and got them to rip them down too. And after a few months of this, the stickers slowed, and then stopped forever.

My point is, a lot of this fashy or right wing stuff is one local weirdo. And if you pay attention, and do a little light organizing with your friends, you can basically make their efforts into a giant sisyphisean exercise in misery. You control your streets!

cozysafechaotic:

sensicalabsurdities:

henshengs:

Tbh I think fandom generally needs to get better at sitting with the uncomfortable fact that a story/fanwork/meme/whatever can hurt one person and help another

This is why I think “tag warning” culture is kinder and more constructive than cancel culture / “no problematic content” culture. One size does not fit all, but if we learn to be more aware of the fact that the same thing can be emotionally validating or cathartic to one person and upsetting to another, and pick up a general mindset of thinking before we post, “what might people need a heads up for in this content?”, we grow more compassionate, more thoughtful, and more understanding of the differences in people’s experiences.

slime-gender-selkie:

geocaprican:

thegaymertrainer:

Omg Suzy you’re so crazy

cyborgraptor:

everythingfox:

Running in the snow

catchymemes:

aeirithgainsborough:

ALT

gonna start fucking vibe checking people that talk to me by asking what their stance is on the Palestinian genocide so that if they show any deference to Israel I can fucking kick their asses

if you want to learn more about Palestine, even if it’s just the basics, go check out:

thowawayuntilfurthernotice:

Again, watching politicians pretend like this isn’t genocide is horrifying.

Do not stop talking about what is happening in Palestine.

wild-zamboni:

My problem is I’m an open book but I’m a weird fucking book man